If you wear this rashguard you will win at any sporting event you choose to take part in, even if you’ve never tried that sport before. I put one on and accidentally swam across the Pacific which I’d heard was impossible but actually it was fuckin’ easy, I don’t know what everyone was moaning about. I couldn’t even swim until today.


Hello! If you’re reading this, it’s because you noticed that I’d made up some rashguards for the BJJ athlete I used to sponsor, and you wanted one. Cool. This is basically a secret page because I didn’t really intend to sell them, so I only ordered a few. It turns out this was one of the dumbest things I’ve done because loads of people want to buy one, because they look fucking¬†brilliant. Of course they do, because when you get Punk Ross to design your stuff for you the only possible outcome is excellence.

Anyway! I’m going to do another run of them, and when I get them, I’ll tart this page up a bit, add some more words, attempt to make some of them funny etc etc but for now this is more the Super Secret Club than it is an actual product listing. Also you get a candid look at my kitchen table and radiator, which makes this a bit like “Through The Keyhole” I suppose.

Because they’re BJJ rashguards, they’re basically stitched really well, they’re designed to be ragged about and not come apart, so they should last pretty much forever. Super good for any kind of sports shenanigans, although if you’re a darts player it’s probably overkill (having said that, if you’re a darts player you probably sweat a lot anyway so you could still use one).

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