So a few people have messaged me about card payments: the short version is this!

Payment Processors like PayPal, Stripe or Square don’t like spore vending and don’t want to have spore vendors as customers. There’s more to it than this, but it’s basically because the banks that underwrite them deem it as high-risk, and so once they realise we’re selling spores (takes anywhere from a week to a couple of months), they lock our accounts and hold our funds. As you can imagine, for a small business this is an absolute nightmare. So now it’s bank transfer and crypto as payment methods!

This may change at some point if any payment processors start to embrace the actual fuckin’ future, but I’m not going to lose any (more) sleep over it. It is what it is. System’s broke, same as it ever was.

I check the bank/crypto wallet multiple times a day, ending at around 5pm – if your payment comes in before 5pm, it will be processed that day and posted the next, if it’s after 5pm it’ll probably be processed the next day and posted the day after that!

Bank Transfer

So, if you wanna bank transfer, it’s very easy. You just choose that option at checkout, and you get sent an email with my bank details in. Send me your payment! If you’re in the UK, this is super simple, if you’re in Europe, I’d recommend using Revolut, or signing up for Wise using my lovely referral link (you’ll be able to do some fee-free transactions this way). These options will get the payment made quickly, and then your stuff will be on it’s way to you sooner!

If you are in America, you’re definitely going to want to sign up to Wise, again, here is my referral link, as that seems to be the only way you can actually do bank transfers internationally (this has now changed, you can use Cash App which seems to be something you all love over there). Super weird banking system you dudes have got going on!

Cash App

This is another pretty simple way of transferring money, I’ve tried it with an American customer and it was very easy and quick – there’s an app for sending cash called, believe it or not, Cash App (iOS link here, Android link here). I don’t think there were any fees, but you would have to work out the currency exchange manually. This one is cool because it’s instant so you’ll get your spores quicker. Also – if you use my referral code which is ZHPPZKX we’ll both get a fiver so that’s always nice.


Crypto and bank transfer payments are fully integrated into this website, which means that both you and I get all the same notifications, and everything is still super simple.

If you’re interested in crypto but haven’t used it before, I can recommend Coinbase – I am also fairly new to the cryptocurrency party, but found getting set up with them really quick and very simple. They’ve got an app, which makes it easier again. If you wanna join and use my link which is this sentence, we’ll both get $10 when you eventually deposit $100 (they do their promos in dollars). They also do little giveaways quite frequently, I’ve had about £40’s worth of free Internet Money from them which I obviously spent responsibly (I put it towards some GME shares because fuck billionaires).

There are probably loads of other cool crypto companies out there but I haven’t used any of them so I can’t speak for how easy they are to use!