We are not really Orangutans, sorry to break it to you. We’re not even a we, it’s more an ‘I’. I’m not even a normal monkey. Sometimes now I wear a monkey costume! It’s just lies upon lies. I am but a man. I appreciate that may be a lot to take in, and I can only imagine the pain you’re feeling right now.

It's the Orangutan Trading Co logo!
It’s a good-looking monkey too!

The name Orangutan Trading Co came about because I was selling some APE swabs I had found (you know how it is, you’re just out for a walk and you come across a load of swabs, perfectly plausible, Officer), and wanted to start a business up. So I had a lot of drinks, and then decided that as Orangutans are Great Apes, and my APE swabs were also Great Apes, it’d work. I do love a pun. Now I sell Great Syringes too, but there isn’t a kind of monkey called a Great Syringe so I though I’d stick with the same name. We just wanted to make the best spore syringes we could, but there are no monkeys called Premium Quality Spore Syringes either so hey, I’ll work with what I’ve got! 

I love looking at pictures of Orangutans (they are probably my favourite primate, partly due to Terry Pratchett), and I like making goofy Orangutan-based art. I also like looking at premium quality spores under microscopes, so I figured “why not combine the three things, there’s gotta be someone else out there who’s into this too”.

I have grown to think of this business as an act of rebellion in a world that I think really needs to change. It’s cheeky, sure, but it’s legal, and it’s helping spread something that I think is hugely valuable for mental health. Microphones! No, wait, microscopes? I think it’s microscopes anyway, it’s something to do with microscopes.

And there we are! 

You can find me on Reddit, at u/OrangutanTradingCo, on Facebook at OrangutanTradingCo, or on Instagram as theOrangutanTradingCo (they banned my first account because I’m not allowed to say that Boris Johnson Can Suck A Fart Out Of My Ass apparently) where I would be super happy to get a review, a like, a follow or anything that helps to spread the word that We Are A Good Place To Buy Stuff From!