Fuck me it's the end of another year. Every time, when this month rolls around I look back and think "how the fuck have I ended up here?". Such a bizarre, unplanned turn of events but heck, I guess that's life. Anyway, a December blog post seems to be the suitable place to have an "end-of-year" roundup sorta thing, so let's have at it!

The business:

I'm still finding it fun, and most importantly manageable! The margins are considerably slimmer these days as the costs have gone up by a ridiculous amount over the last few years due to dumbshit stuff like making sure the million/billionaires have enough to get by. I figure everyone's in the same boat as far as this is concerned (apart from the million/billionaires), so I'm not gonna moan about it, although I will happily pull the lever of the guillotine when the time's right.

I've been able to do some lovely stuff due to Orangutan Trading Co, on both a personal level (getting to travel and meet other bizarre mycology people), and on a wider level (consistently donating decent sums to charity). I'm not even gonna include the radness of sending spores everywhere in this, because that comes with the territory. It's really cool having a job that I love, that I get to do good with, and that I feel has a decent purpose in this often-horrendous world.

Next year I'll have a few more types of spores available (labels are in the post as we speak), and most likely some nice new merch. I totally fucked up in ordering it in good time for Christmas because I've been so busy, so I'll try and get that sorted early in 2026.

Hats and long-sleeved tees in 2025, maybe assless chaps for 2026?

Charity cashola

This year we managed to donate a total of £6378.80, mostly to the local foodbank, Transformation CPR, with a bit going to Medical Aid for Palestine. I'm not personally into the whole Christianity thing - it always amuses me that the racists try and say "look at what demographic's doing the sexual crimes" when we the evidence shows, over and over again, that it's the white Christians that top the sick fuck leaderboard and not by a small margin. I don't think many Christians actually have the first clue about what the actual tenets of their religion are, so I'm not able to muster any respect for them. However, it's a foodbank, and I do have respect for people that are out there making sure motherfuckers get something to eat, so I'll continue to contribute. It's a bit like the "love the sinner, hate the sin" thing, except it's "dislike the religion, like the action".

This number doesn't include the £1000 or so that we're going to go and spend on Sunday buying toys for the kids that are involved with the foodbank, so I suppose you could really call it £7379ish if you wanted to be more accurate. Either way, that's a whole lot of good stuff that has been able to happen because people have bothered to buy stuff from Orangutan Trading Co. It makes me pleased as fuck to be able to do this, but as I've said many, many times, I wouldn't be able to do this if it wasn't for customers supporting my business, so thanks. We, together, are getting to help people that will never even know or care who we are, and that's the best form of giving that anyone could ever do.

you gotta give 

Sponsorships

Orangutan Trading Co continues to sponsor Mike Cook, who is officially Hull's Third Best Comedian (no wait, come back, he's got better over the year). This guy's gone from "I would like to be a comedian" to actually putting himself out there, honing his craft, and winning some competitions and suchlike, so I'm really pleased to A) see him get funnier because fuuuuuuuck me does Hull need a bit of levity brought to it, and B) do something that he loves. You should check him out if you're unlucky enough to live anywhere he gigs (it's mostly up north), and here is his Instagram if you fancy having a look: click these words, ya jabroni.

Newspapers:

Amazingly (for my blood pressure) I didn't manage to get into any of the shitrags this year as they were all too busy posting about trans people and immigrants in their quest to get outrage clicks. I'll categorically go on the record saying "I hate shitty newspapers" because all they're doing is victimising people that have already been victimised enough. Trans people already have a fuckin' hard life, and have as much importance to the world as anyone else, and anyone mental enough to want to come to a country as fucking stupid as this, let alone travel here on a dinghy, must be desperate as fuck. If you're reading this and thinking "no I disagree" then how about you fuck off abroad, burn your passport, come back here on a boat, and then let me know wonderful the whole experience goes for you.

Flag-shagging smoothbrains

I did, however, manage to piss off record numbers of flag-shagging smoothbrained motherfuckers this year, to which I say "good, fuck off". I usually get a few of the more "decorum-minded" "centrists" commenting and saying "oh so it's have respect for everyone but not in this case, hmmmmm?" - again, you can quote me: I do not have any respect for people either stupid enough to be used by the racists, or people that are using the simpletons to try and put fear into victimised people. You can suck my monkey dick until my glorious milk forces your eyes clean out of their sockets like a cartoon wolf seeing a hot lady.

this could be your fate

Blimey that's a mental image

So next year: more charity stuff, more All Things Fungi, more writing weird shit, more spores, more merch, just more. More more more. Probably more moaning about Labour because jesus fucking christ all they had to do was be normal but that's clearly not what you do when the million/billionaires are the ones in charge. Maybe more uprising except this time focused on the people that are actually causing the evil in the world? Man, we can only hope.

Anyway, this is probably the last blog post this end of Christmas unless I have something I really feel like writing - I want to spend some time relaxing, eating and drinking too much, and seeing my family, so as the boss, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I hope you get to spend your time doing the things you like, Christmas can be a pretty rough time if you're not in a good spot, so if you need to reach out for help from people, then please do that rather than having a shit time. Not that I'm that much help, but if you're just needing someone to chat to, feel free to send me a DM and if I can, I'll answer.

Take care, lots of love! OTC