Description
“Orangutan Trading Clothes”. That was gonna be the name of the company originally, but I tripped over the cat and accidentally mashed the keyboard on my way down to smash cheek off laminate. To be fair, this unplanned manoeuvre has allowed me a fair bit of versatility in terms of what I can sell as a company, and I got to see underneath the sofa where it turned out the soundbar remote was, so it’s fuckin’ win-win. This is the third bit of OTC clothing-related stuff we’ve knocked out, and yeah of course it’s rad.
“What’s your secret to the perpetual radness, Mr Orangutan?” you ask. I decided that there were only so many hours in the day, and that I could up my win/time ratio by simply refusing to have any shit ideas, so I that’s what I did and here we are, just banger after banger. Day follows night, spring follows winter, and hot idea after hot idea comes plopping out of my brain into the world. Morning kebab? Must be a good idea because I don’t have shit ones anymore. Sit in the park and drink some cold cans? Ring-a-ding-ding it literally has to be a winner because there’s only one category of idea these days. I should start up doing life coaching or something.
Anyway, T-shirts. I always find it’s pretty nice in the summer to have a light but longsleeve tee to keep the sun off when it’s looking like I’m gonna burn, and obviously the classic white looks awesome with a shirt thrown over the top. Bear in mind I remember the good old days when Gladiators was first on the telly: take my fashion advice with a pinch of salt by all means, but y’know, it’s a white long sleeve T-shirt with some fucking amazing art on the chest and the back, you cannot go wrong.
Front: Orangutan Trading Co logotype designed by the ever-rad Punk Ross
Back: Hand-drawn Orangutan, waves, leaves, sunshine by Laura Likes Plants
They’re well nice, again, like the shortsleeved black T-shirts, I hammered the quality options because I’d rather make less money and sell something that I’m fuckin’ proud of (just like everything else, really). It’s posh cotton so chances are that they’ll burn well too – this means that when the world takes that last final step into dystopia you could use them for Molotov rags or light ’em up to keep warm. Also they’re vegan so you could, in a push, eat them instead of people.
Technical Details:
Cotton! Fucking vegan cotton, no less. 190 GSM! Twin needle stitching! Stupid itchy label removed and a much cooler one printed in! Tapered neck! Tubular body! I’m half convinced they just make this shit up at the clothing factory because ain’t much of it makes sense to me, if I’m honest, but if you’re a clothing afficionado then I’m sure you know what it is. All I know is I’ve spent the kids food money on a big ol’ stack of these so either you buy one (or ten) or my kids learn to shoplift really quickly. You don’t want a life of crime for little Chimpansius or Roland, do you?
- Small – 34/36 Chest
- Medium – 38/40 Chest
- Large – 41/42 Chest
- XL – 43/44 Chest
- XXL – 45/47 Chest
Please note these are *slightly* snugger than the black t-shirts but there’s not much in it to be honest. Check the measurements and that or drop me an email and if you’re not a sex weirdo we can send each other pictures of ourselves in T-shirts .
