Hand-crafted by actual Orangutans no wait that’s a lie and I’m not doing lies. Not now that I’m a fancy pants clothing distributor! Made by some lovely buggers in a factory in Cornwall, with all the quality options cranked so fuckin’ hard the machine was in danger of exploding.
They always say to sell stuff, you should explain the problem to the customer, and then how you’re gonna solve it for them, so here we go: you’ve got a massive problem dude. Yeah you’ve got T-Shirts, but there ain’t a single one of them as breathtakingly awesome as this one. Now, because I’m amazing, I’ve made the best T-Shirt ever produced (independently verified by my mum) and you too can now wear something that will be remembered in the End Times as the peak of human achievement.
Front: Real cool logo featuring the Orangutan Trading Co name in a mycelial style, and a spore syringe.
Back: Seriously check this out, it’s incredible – more writing, spore syringes, and an Orangutan Skull in Punk Ross’ inimitable style.
Basically my good bud Chris over at Mycopunks had some t-shirts printed up featuring a design by a guy called Punk Ross and I thought they were amazing. So I figured I’d get some done as well because quite frankly it was an excellent idea, and good ideas should be spread far and wide, much like spores.
Cotton! 180 gsm! Seamless twin needle collar! No irritating label because I paid extra to have them removed and a better one printed in! Tapered neck and shoulders! Tubular body! Twin needle sleeves and hem! Fucking amazing! Absolutely guaranteed to make you at least five hundred percent cooler, and that’s a fact you can take to the bank, mister. Since I’ve been wearing mine I’ve been promoted eight times and people have just started spontaneously bringing me cups of tea with a biscuit – and I ain’t talking digestives, I’m talking goddamned Party Rings.
- Small – 34/36 Chest
- Medium – 38/40 Chest
- Large – 42/44 Chest
- XL – 46/48 Chest
- XXL – 50/52 Chest